Tuesday, September 27, 2011
My Semi-Retirement: Why and How (ShadowsWillFall)
It has been since 2007 now that I've been modeling. It took me a year to get the ball going and establish a name for myself as an Art Model. I love the culture of Photography and am thankful for having met so many artistic and talented individuals.
Traveling has been good for me.. But considering this year and my losses, I will have to refrain from traveling as often and traveling out of pocket.
Here's my story:
It took me a year to break up with a guy that I thought would be a good match for me. Why a year? Well, the heart has high hopes. But I accepted we weren't, as hard as it was, and just wanted to move on. But he truly believed to ruin me before letting me go, taking off with my music and studio equipment, my song files, my photos, my pc, and pretty much my livelihood. Yes, all my music from Dhatura was lost as well as all my modeling photos. The book I was working on, well....I think i might have a back-up....crosses fingers. I then got hacked in my accounts many times by him as he was also leaving threats. Not happiness at all.
Later I found out that the rent wasn't getting paid on his part which led to a non-documented eviction. He was gone! With all my life. Nowhere to be found now. And good ridden.
Upon finding a new place to live, I found out my father was homeless and seemed to have the symptoms of a minor stroke. And since he had nowhere to go, I offered him my room that I was renting in my "roommate" situation. I then stayed with my fabulous and current potential life partner since then.
After a couple weeks, I was traveling north to Seattle, Portland, The bay, and The Coast when I get a phone call that my father was in the hospital and had, again suffered a major stroke. My struggles between my losses, my break-up, and supporting my loving father seemed extreme and painful. Alot to deal with in such short amount of time. I couldn't travel for too long as i was worried for my father being alone with his condition. So to support us i did what I cold including selling both our cars. I've been an emotional rollercoaster since then, and just not myself.
He recovered well enough to travel back to France to get the healthcare he needed. Thank god! By this time, I'm spent. And I just got into another accident being hit by a car as a pedestrian. Don't worry, I only have a torn tendon in my right hand finger. But it makes it difficult to do regular things with my hand. I still model....without the bandage ;)
With all this going on this year I obviously am not doing so hot in school o_O
Well.....I have to get my life together.
I have to rebuild, move on, and focus on the good in my life.
I'm saving money and staying at my bf's and my mom's to get another car. This will allow my to get back on route as a traveling model and work. But it won't happen over night. So my semi-retirement is this. If you want to book me, I can make myself available. Mind you I have a flexible job here in LA, but i do need to work around it a bit. If you need me to travel, I will if expenses are covered. If you want to shoot TF for a flight, that's great, but I must also have a couple extra days to book other gigs to make my time worthwhile. I can't go home with empty pockets as I could be using that time to study and actually pass my classes.
I'm keeping all my confirmed shoots and travels until December and booking extra when it comes my way. After that, it's lockdown time.
I still am working towards being a musician, and audio engineer. The arts is and has always been my first love. But I have devoted and sacrificed in this industry. I hope someday it can give back a little tiny something for me. I will model for as long as I can........
photography by ShadowsWillFall